It seems that I am in the romantic district. I’ve been here before, I am not afraid.
Ok, maybe I am slightly unnerved. Meh.
Since I’ve entered this place I may as well get to know the locals, do a little shopping and check out the catalog at the library.
Following Thursday’s (2012May17) family group session, I’m interested in learning more about the various forms of love (exclusively real love).
I need to do a little owling.
That is all for now.
…right now
Good timing…
These are better than any set of 21 questions that I’ve heard.
I actually recorded 17. I’m guessing that he grouped them differently than I did. Either way, the content is the same. I need to answer these for myself whether I allow myself to pursue a relationship or not.
God-fearing Lady,
Do I like you?
Yes, as a matter of fact I do.
What does this mean for you?
I am interested in getting to know you.
STOP.
I feel compelled to explain this matter in more detail.
Before I cared of, sought or knew the ways of God, this would have meant that I would have pursued you with the intent of possibly building a relationship.
Now, by seeking God, at least two things have happened which could describe a single effect. The desire for a relationship with (or approval of) God forms a buffer between the initial desire and the nonsense that I am capable of and once had such a proclivity. Fortunately, I have been rescued from my heart for such pursuits. Think, 1 Peter 1:14-16.
Ok, back to the focus (this is a reminder for me). I have come to a point where I want love to grow in my like wildflower. I don’t mean the worldly luv (that is passion). I mean the love which is true and is of God (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 and Matthew 5:27-30). I consider purity to exist well beyond sexuality but, I figure that tackling the sexual matters is a good starting point.
The goal is simple, I want to look at you through eyes that are unclouded by sin (also know as destruction, perversity, hate, ignorance, selfishness and many other names). It is only after we have both lived by this that I believe we will understand how we might fit together in this life, friends or more. I also believe that after have both done this we cannot be enemies so even the least result is great!
I should also mention the following:
I too desire to be treated and viewed with pure eyes. I also desire to have Godly rebuke, when necessary so that I may be a better man.
This said…
Lady I do not know you but, I would like to call you friend.
I know myself, at least in the following way.
I can see from recent happenings that I will soon do some things which I will not understand. I’m referring to matters of chivalry. I’ve managed to gather enough details of chivalrous behavior to know how to at least imitate such character. I can identify (at least occasionally) when a gentlemen is exhibiting chivalrous behavior toward a lady. Still, for the life of my I don’t understand it.
Actually, I may be mistaken in saying that I don’t understand. From a historic eye, I can see that the ways of men and women have changed a great deal. Bringing cultural differences into the mix makes this far messier to sort. At one point, the attire of a female would have made actions such as opening doors quite difficult. In our day, daily attire does not present such problems. Perhaps formal wear would pose such a problem.
Ok, so I may be able to synthesize comprehension of garment related assistance but, one other thing leaves me quite befuddled. Why do we open car doors. These days, I know a great many females who more able-bodied than I am. I hang out with climbers and fitness ‘geeks’. Geek is a term of honor. In many cases, I have to wonder if it is thought to be insulting. I’ll explain by synthesizing another possibility. If I were in the company of a woman who was not familiar with the city or at least a traffic-rich area, I’d feel compelled to make sure that she can manage getting out of a car safely. I reckon that a woman who is under unusual circumstances (pregnancy, illness, etc.) would be afforded such treatment. However, I know women who drive a great deal faster than I do (I’m imagining that they don’t lack awareness of their surroundings). Some of them even drive stick, which in my experience requires an even greater awareness of the environment and vehicle. What then should my internal process be for these circumstances? Should I have the motive of making them feel like a lady by telling them to wait while I get the door? I can assure you that I would have thought no less of them being a lady when they were outmatching me at driving, fitness classes or even video games for that matter.
Perhaps this problem arose in me from growing up with a single mother. Perhaps it is due to the rise of women like Janna Levin, Donna Auguste, Linda Salzman, Majora Carter, Wilma Rudolph and Helen Keller. These women are not dainty little flower but, great forces among our species. The problem could also be that I was taught that women were equal to men; this is something that I don’t recall questioning despite my habit of questioning much of what was presented to me. I would not open the car door for any of my male friends (especially Charles) unless the child safety lock was on.
Still, some instruction has been given to me so that I may perform this action. I don’t find it sufficient to fight it. However, I am willing to modify the action if the lady (whoever she may be) requests that I cease doing so for her. I haven’t a clue of what I will say if I am questioned about the effort.
Considering that we as a species predate vehicles, I don’t think that it is a matter of universal law or necessity that we follow such ordinances. Not that necessary ordinances matter much to the humans around these days.
We’ve all heard it before:
Of course, the stranger is the woman that the guy took home. (We’ll revisit the lack of safety in this matter later.) At some point during the activities of the night, the woman’s make-up left her face. The woman beneath the make-up was not easily recognizable as the woman with the make-up. (The level of attraction of her natural state is irrelevant.)
Usually on campus I see a number of ladies who are gorgeous. Their skin appears flawless and vibrant. Their hair is silky smooth and perfectly symmetrical. I couldn’t talk to a single one of them with the intent of investigating the potential of a relationship. Why? They don’t seem quite human. No human has such qualities. I remember at one point in my life when I was intimidated by such ladies. Now, I just see fake. Fake nails used to be attractive. Now, not so much. I loved braids. Now that I understand what they are, I’m repulsed.
I assume that
I’ve never had the restriction of my own ethnicity but, I will actively seek all except for it if bare-regular woman do not emerge.
Of course, from a purely aesthetic perspective some of these women still look great. Yet, life is more than aesthetics. Having some degree of artistic ability, I can appreciate “well done” make-up as an art form. The reality is that I’d much rather see the face beneath the artwork. I personally believe that a woman’s true beauty is greater than any form of canvas. Make-up is not needed to bring out the inner beauty. It is merely there to highlight qualities that are selected to carry the weight of attraction. Woman, let me tell you, you are fine without it. I guarantee it. If you seek to convince me that you are ugly, persist in your defense of your “need” for the stuff and highlight your self-hatred or lack of self-acceptance/self-worth. Even then, I can say woman, you are fine… the lacking is ugly. You are not going to be truly better than the reality that is you.
I’m debating walking up to the museum pieces (artwork women) and saying that “Your make-up artist is amazing”. I’m tempted to do this when they ask me directly.
I watched a short documentary about the why some Islamic women cover the majority of their bodies. It makes it easier for a man to focus on who the woman is instead of how she looks. I’m sure that most women are not comfortable with the objectivity cast on them by men. Yet, many women quickly subject themselves to such responses. Please do not confuse me with trying to get men off the hook with our dodgy characteristics. I am merely suggesting that certain stimuli promotes certain activity.
I don’t understand how a woman can wear “revealing” clothing and expect a guy with a lack of neuro-oxygen activity to concentrate on what she is saying no matter how important it is. This is the equivalent of a guy flashing a bankroll and not liking being sought after by gold diggers.
As evidence, I ask you this… How many women have, while being fake, attracted situations (read relationships) which promote nonsense? Of course, not everyone; I remember statistics class. I desire more that you consider the nature of your conversations when you are you, without the face.
Also, I do not mean to represent myself as the profound speaker for all testosterone equipped persons. I take ownership of my perspective.
Note: I feel this way about good artwork. I have a separate set of issues with poor artwork.