I know myself, at least in the following way.
I can see from recent happenings that I will soon do some things which I will not understand. I’m referring to matters of chivalry. I’ve managed to gather enough details of chivalrous behavior to know how to at least imitate such character. I can identify (at least occasionally) when a gentlemen is exhibiting chivalrous behavior toward a lady. Still, for the life of my I don’t understand it.
Actually, I may be mistaken in saying that I don’t understand. From a historic eye, I can see that the ways of men and women have changed a great deal. Bringing cultural differences into the mix makes this far messier to sort. At one point, the attire of a female would have made actions such as opening doors quite difficult. In our day, daily attire does not present such problems. Perhaps formal wear would pose such a problem.
Ok, so I may be able to synthesize comprehension of garment related assistance but, one other thing leaves me quite befuddled. Why do we open car doors. These days, I know a great many females who more able-bodied than I am. I hang out with climbers and fitness ‘geeks’. Geek is a term of honor. In many cases, I have to wonder if it is thought to be insulting. I’ll explain by synthesizing another possibility. If I were in the company of a woman who was not familiar with the city or at least a traffic-rich area, I’d feel compelled to make sure that she can manage getting out of a car safely. I reckon that a woman who is under unusual circumstances (pregnancy, illness, etc.) would be afforded such treatment. However, I know women who drive a great deal faster than I do (I’m imagining that they don’t lack awareness of their surroundings). Some of them even drive stick, which in my experience requires an even greater awareness of the environment and vehicle. What then should my internal process be for these circumstances? Should I have the motive of making them feel like a lady by telling them to wait while I get the door? I can assure you that I would have thought no less of them being a lady when they were outmatching me at driving, fitness classes or even video games for that matter.
Perhaps this problem arose in me from growing up with a single mother. Perhaps it is due to the rise of women like Janna Levin, Donna Auguste, Linda Salzman, Majora Carter, Wilma Rudolph and Helen Keller. These women are not dainty little flower but, great forces among our species. The problem could also be that I was taught that women were equal to men; this is something that I don’t recall questioning despite my habit of questioning much of what was presented to me. I would not open the car door for any of my male friends (especially Charles) unless the child safety lock was on.
Still, some instruction has been given to me so that I may perform this action. I don’t find it sufficient to fight it. However, I am willing to modify the action if the lady (whoever she may be) requests that I cease doing so for her. I haven’t a clue of what I will say if I am questioned about the effort.
Considering that we as a species predate vehicles, I don’t think that it is a matter of universal law or necessity that we follow such ordinances. Not that necessary ordinances matter much to the humans around these days.
